Your Mental Health Matters

It always matters. Even on your wedding day.

I wanted to take a moment to speak on it on world mental health day. 

It's the best day of your life right? I do agree it is one of the best days but I also know how much anxiety it can create. Whether it be from any stress of dealing with family politics, the idea of being centre of attention makes you feel worried or maybe you're in a time of depression and the wedding isn't make you feel very joyful. Sometimes just because it's a wedding doesn't mean you can instantly feel like your best self. 

I truly believe though that even if you are struggling with your mental health, you can still have a really wonderful day that you love with all your heart. Having worked in both mental health and in weddings, including planning my own, here are some tips I have for you if you are worried about your mental health around your wedding:

✨ Make a no stress on the wedding day pact with yourself. I did this for my wedding and it worked wonders. I allowed myself to get out all the stress in the days beforehand and then was firm with myself to not allow stress to start creeping in (more on how to do this below). This helped me let go of things that went wrong and truly embrace whatever the day held. 

✨ A way of helping you to make that no stress pact a reality is delegate everything for the day. Don't let yourself be responsible for anything. It's hard to let go if you actually have something you need to hold onto in your mind. Call in help from family, bridesmaids, ushers, friends - they'll be more than happy to help

✨ Have times or things in your day where you can do something that will be good for you. This could be a quick 5 minute walk outside with your new husband/wife, chatting to people you don't need to small talk with, taking off your shoes to dance if your feet are hurting, drinking something non-alcoholic (get that H2O down ya) and so many little things you can choose to help you feel better. 

✨ Then going off that, plan a day that will be best for you! Don’t want to be up until the early hours in the morning? Have an earlier finish. Hate the idea of dancing with everyone watching? Don’t do a first dance or share it with your closest couples. Know that you can’t drink alcohol? Plan some tasty mocktails. Does planning a big event make you sweat with nerves? Consider hiring a wedding planner or a very good friend who can help you both out. Nowadays we can throw away the idea of everything having to be traditional and plan a day that you’re going to actually enjoy and be good for your mental health. 

✨I know a lot of couples are nervous about the professional photography side, especially with the couple shoot. I cannot stress enough, book an engagement shoot! I promise it helps so much with not being as nervous on your wedding day in front of the camera. And on the couple shoot, I recommend having a couple of shorter sessions instead of one long one. By the second one you will likely be feeling more relaxed and enjoy it more. 

✨ And my last tip for the day is to reframe your negative thoughts. Your thoughts impact so much of your feelings and starting to take back control of any unhelpful ones can make such a big difference. Here are some examples below:

‘There will be so many people there’ —> ‘So many people have come because they love us and are for us’

‘What if it all goes wrong?’ —> ‘What if it all goes right? If something does go wrong, it’ll be a funny story to tell in the future’

‘It’s going to be overwhelming’ —> ‘I might actually really love it and if I do get overwhelmed I am allowed to take breaks out from the day’

‘It’s going to fly by so quickly’ —> ‘We have a photographer to capture all the moments so we’ll remember it forever’ (okay I couldn’t help but put that one in 😉)

Who would want a part 2 of how to look after your mental health on your wedding day?